So I have been having a field day with self-discovery thanks to my counselor, Tanya.
A few months back, I had to take a Briggs-Meyer personality test. I took several, in fact, and kept coming up as an INTJ, or introverted, intuitive, thinking and judging.
Of course I have the rarest personality type in the world with only .8% of the women on Earth sharing it with me. Why should this be easy?
Without going into all of the characteristics of an INTJ (if you are dying to learn more about my very complicated and fucked up type, please feel free to click on the above link - or click here to see just how badly people who want to be in a relationship with me should STAY THE FUCK AWAY), I can just say that learning these things about myself explains a lot.
It explains why people who stick out the beginning of friendships with me often end up saying "You are so misunderstood!"
It explains why I can give people many more chances than would ever be considered healthy, but once I'm done, I'm done.
It explains why my brain will not shut the fuck up. I can be so tired but it just wants to think. And when I dream, I dream HARD and remember whatever I dreamed about when I wake up. My brain has never taken a vacation. It's like a douchebag CEO of a huge conglomerate that just isn't happy unless it's being a workaholic.
It explains why I have to find the most efficient way to do things. My ex called me OCD with the dishwasher because I would open it and see things randomly placed anywhere and would move them to make room for more.
I didn't feel OCD... just had a desire to load it in such a way that we were running it for 100 items instead of 10. I also never tried to let this become anyone else's problem. I never gave a lecture about it or tried to tell someone a better way to do it. I just did it myself and that was the end of it.
It explains why I feel so confident in all of my decisions unless I go against my intuition. Some people think I am arrogant with my knowledge but it's just that I know what I know.
In fact, I was having a Facebook e-mail exchange with a high school friend of mine. He once gave me a ride on the back of his motorcycle when we were 16. The cops pulled us over 5 miles from my house and made me walk home since I didn't have a helmet. We were discussing it and my friend wrote:
I'll tell you what - I remember you marching out of that random backyard with more confidence than I had ever seen on any adult. It left such an impression on me that you really were a badass.
It explains why I hate games and why people who want to play them with me get left in the dust. Don't expect me to chase you. I really won't.
And if you try to make me jealous, it's all over but the crying.
If you have an INTJ in your life, this is a handy-dandy list of ways that you can relate better to your cute but quirky friend. And of all your friends, the INTJ will be most impressed that you took the time to learn about them and can now carry on an intelligent conversation about their characteristics. (Just Google "INTJ Personality" and fill your bucket!)
So in a nutshell, I am a very direct, literal speaker who hears and accepts things as literal and has no ability to interpret all the ways one can mean a certain thing that they say. People are puzzles to me and if I sense you are not being genuine with me or trying to manipulate me, I will bolt.
But a person who is patient with me, takes the time to get to learn my quirks and maybe even find them loveable - you will get a brilliant, loyal, bad-ass for a friend.