Thursday, January 9, 2014

Six tiny, huge things

I came across this amazing little quote a few weeks ago and I keep thinking about the wisdom in the six points in this single sentence. 

Be with someone that: 

Requires you to grow...

I have a few core beliefs and one of them is that if you are not seeking to grow as a person, there is something wrong with your soul.  I'm not talking about some type of short-lived new years resolution to lose weight or take up yoga or go on a spiritual retreat you may or may not take.  I'm talking about a person who has made it a part of who they are to always be, in some way, learning something new that leads them to self discovery or self improvement.

I know it sounds judgmental on my part and maybe it is.  But the fact is, I don't really respect people who don't ever want to go to the next level or they want to but they don't take any steps to get there. They stay in the same, miserable set of circumstances and dream about a different life that they won't take a single step to change.  


When I think about the woman that I would eventually like to end up with, I want her to push me to grow and learn and be my best so that I never settle for something less than I wanted.  I want her to know what my goals and dreams are and to involve herself in helping me to reach them the same way I will do for her.  And she will push me in the hottest, sexiest, non-bitchy way ever!

Makes you forget your problems...

It would be AMAZING to have a partner who loves you so much that they knew how to minister to your spirit in such a way that when you talked to them, you felt calmer and happier and more at peace.  Not the kind of person who gets upset that you're upset, but one that will be like the Shannon-Whisperer.

Have you ever been so upset and stressed that you are one rude cashier away from being featured on an episode of "Snapped"? Then, you talk to some wise, calm person who just brings you right back down and even makes you feel optimistic and empowered?  

Yeah, I want that person in the form of something like Olivia Wilde.  Peace of mind is so underrated.

Holds your hand...

Holding hands is a statement between two people about their desire to be connected.  It is deeply personal. 

I will never forget the profound feeling I had when I woke up one night and discovered that my ex-wife and I had, at some point in our sleep, found each others hand.  We were holding hands in our sleep.  It was the sweetest thing and illustrated how deeply in love we both were at that time.

Likes to kiss...

Look, I'm not going to lie.  This is the greatest foreplay on the planet and is an incredible turn on to me.  But even more than that, it is an act if intimacy where you are entering another person, to a degree.  

A girl who likes to kiss will have a secret power over me.  I can't stay angry when I'm being kissed.  I can't think of a defense when I'm being kissed.  I can't think of a plan different than the one that she just proposed when I'm being kissed.  A kiss is like a stun-gun to my brain.  

Lucky her to be the one who will wield this power.

Appreciates art...

A woman who can see beauty in the creation of others is a woman who not only knows how to look for beauty, but she is seeking beauty.  

I will venture to guess that a woman who doesn't like art is a woman who is often negative and feels like it's a chore to look at art because she feels nothing.

I'll never forget how I felt when I waited for 3 hours to see Michelangelo's The David when I was in Florence, Italy.  It was magnificent.  I had no idea of the size - the proportions.  His hands.  The steely resolve in his eyes as he prepared to slay the giant.  It was breathtaking and I wanted to stand there and just feel the energy in the room.

Then, like a scratch across the record, my ex disturbed my art moment.  He was already cranky from waiting in line and paying the admission price to see a dumb statue.  He was hungry and spent a minute looking at it, felt ripped off and was ready to leave.  He had no ability to see the beauty or feel the energy.  He wanted to get his wine and pizza and find out how Alabama football was doing.

He didn't feel anything. It wasn't his fault.  That's just how he was.  But it made me sad for him and for me.  Because as we had lunch at a sidewalk table in this beautiful piazza, there was no conversation about the masterpiece we just saw.  We only had pizza to talk about.

And adores you...

I always tell my kids to never be with anyone who doesn't think you aren't the greatest thing that ever happened to them.  

This girl I'll end up with - she is going to think I hung the moon.  Yes, she will see my one or two tiny faults and she will choose to not focus on them because she knows the rest of me is a total package.  She knows I will do the same for her and our life together will be amazing.  

If she adores me and I adore her, how could it not be?

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